3 Things I Know for Sure
A young person in my life is going through an exciting rite of passage, and their thoughtful parents asked family friends for wisdom we might have to share. I thought I'd share my contribution here as well. In this space, I'll invoke Oprah's concept of "things I know for sure".
I'm curious what resonates here for you in your life. What might you add?
Know who you are, but don’t let it keep you stuck. Some parts of you have been, and will continue to be, the way that you just are in the world. For me, things like being the most organized person in the room and being deeply motivated by helping others are never going to change. I imagine you already know some of those things about yourself. At the same time, don’t let them define you. You are and will be an evolving, ever-changing human. Both of those examples I shared about myself are still true, AND how those characteristics show up in my world has changed significantly as I’ve learned and experienced life over time. I’ve learned to make them work for me and mitigate the parts of them that can make things challenging. Embrace who you are and don’t let it hold you back from what you want and need to become.
Feel your feelings. Pain, and joy, and jealousy. Anger, and frustration, and love. Gratitude and fear and all of the other emotions humans experience - they deserve to be felt fully. They demand it, in fact. If you try to avoid them (especially the less comfortable ones), they will show up in sorts of insidious ways. The only way through it is through it; there’s no getting around that. Feel them, name them. Find ways that work for you to move through them. For me, some of the things that help me move feelings through my body are physical movement, investing in the daily reset of a good nights’ sleep, listening to music that makes me dance or cry, and writing about what I’m feeling with no filter. The human experience is beautifully complex and deserves to be treated as such. Find your magic spells that get you through the hard stuff and let you revel in, extend, and appreciate the good stuff.
Be intentional. Many of the most meaningful experiences and accomplishments in my life were the result, at least in part, of some very intentional planning and reflection. I encourage you to figure out what matters to you most and be intentional about making it happen. Make your life, don’t let it just happen. Being intentional about one’s life looks different for different people. Some people like a “word of the year”. Others do New Years Resolutions. Some have a bucket list or “20 things to do before I turn 20”. I’ve tried and benefited from each of these approaches. No matter what it looks like for you, make the space to figure out what you care about, how you will move towards those things, and feel all the freedom to change your mind and lists as you continue to grow.
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