How to Be the Village: Simple Ways to Support Friends During Hard Seasons
“Being the village” means offering practical, human support—especially during seasons that feel overwhelming. Here are real-world ways to help, based on experiences from friends and my own life.
TL;DR: How to Be the Village
Help friends who are moving with meals, childcare, errands, or packing support
Support advocacy causes by using your specific skills—even behind the scenes
Learn what not to say when someone is struggling using Ring Theory
Follow trusted professionals (like hospice nurses) to better support loved ones at the end of life
How to Support a Friend Who Is Moving
When a former colleague and friend, Robin, shared how intense her move was, I related immediately after having done a big move myself a few years earlier.
If someone in your life is moving, consider offering specific help:
Bring a meal (their kitchen may already be packed)
Take their kids for a playdate while they pack
Pick up and deliver donations to Goodwill
Sit with them and help pack boxes or keep them company
Take fridge, pantry, or freezer items they can’t transport
Simply text and ask: “What would help most right now?”
Concrete offers are often easier to accept than “Let me know if you need anything.”
Want to Help an Advocacy Cause—But Don’t Feel Like an Advocate?
Many people care deeply about issues but don’t see themselves as traditional advocates. The truth is: advocacy needs many kinds of support.
Examples from my own community:
A finance professional explored serving on a nonprofit board as a treasurer
An introverted friend provided childcare so others could canvass and phone bank
Another friend cooked comforting meals for campaign volunteers
Ask yourself:
What skills do I already have?
How could those skills support a cause I care about?
There is a place for everyone in movements to make the world better.
How to Avoid Saying the Wrong Thing When Someone Is Struggling
A friend and colleague, Christine, shared an excellent article introducing Ring Theory, a framework for supporting people in crisis.
The idea:
Comfort should flow inward toward the person most affected
Processing and venting should flow outward to others further from the crisis
It’s simple, intuitive—and incredibly helpful in practice.
👉 Read the full explanation in the Los Angeles Times
Learning to Support Loved Ones During Hospice Care
When my mom entered hospice, the intake nurse recommended I follow Hospice Nurse Julie (she’s on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, etc.).
Her videos:
Explained hospice medications in clear language
Helped us understand what was normal
Prepared us for the signs of active dying
Because of her guidance, I was able to recognize when my mom was nearing her final moments—and let my dad know—so we could both be there with her.
Trusted educators can make an enormous difference during overwhelming seasons. Share with a friend who might find this useful!
Frequently Asked Questions
Q1: What does it mean to “be the village”?
It means offering practical, emotional, or logistical support to people during difficult life moments instead of assuming they’ll ask for help.
Q2: How can I help a friend who is overwhelmed?
Offer specific, actionable help—meals, childcare, errands, or simply companionship—rather than vague offers.
Q3: What if I want to support a cause but don’t like being in public?
Use your existing skills behind the scenes. Nonprofits and movements need organizers, caregivers, financial experts, cooks, and listeners.
Q4: How can I avoid saying the wrong thing to someone who’s grieving?
Frameworks like Ring Theory help guide supportive communication and prevent unintentionally centering yourself.
Want more tips?
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About The Author
Jessica Eastman Stewart is a consultant, workshop facilitator, and podcast guest expert. She teaches busy professionals how to get more organized at home and at work so they can stop feeling worn out and start living a Joyfully Managed Life®! Thousands of readers drop everything when her weekly newsletter, The Friday Five, arrives in their inbox. Every Friday, you’ll get FIVE amazing tips to help life feel INSTANTLY more joyful and easy!
