Creating Community Through Monthly Potlucks: Our Stewarts' Sunday Supper Story
How a Simple Idea Became Our Favorite Monthly Tradition
When we moved to our current town in early 2023, we knew we wanted to build real connections with our neighbors and friends. Not the surface-level "how's the weather" kind, but the deeper relationships that make a community feel like home. That's how Stewarts' Sunday Supper was born—a monthly potluck that's become so much more than just a shared meal.
Our Approach: Casual but Intentional
We describe our supper as "casual, more like a friendly gathering than a typical dinner party." We've been inspired by this approach to a "Crappy Dinner Party". The key is being intentional about creating connection while keeping the pressure low. Here's what that looks like in practice:
Time and Structure: We keep it short and sweet—5:30 to 7 PM on (usually) the first Sunday of each month. People can arrive, connect, eat, and still have Sunday evening to themselves. We eat around 6, which gives time for mingling but doesn't drag the evening out. We actually aim to encourage folks to head out at 7 because it helps people know they can show up and it won't turn into a very long night (and it helps parents pull their kids away to head home for bedtime).
The Potluck Philosophy: This might be the most important part—we're explicit that your ability to bring something homemade (or anything at all) should never prevent you from coming. Life happens. Sometimes you just need a nice dinner with kind people, and that's exactly when community matters most. It's fine to show up with or without a contribution.
Planned Main Dishes: We take the guesswork out by providing a substantial main dish each month. This year we've planned everything from beef curry to tacos to a baked potato bar. Having this backbone means people can contribute sides, desserts, or drinks without worrying about whether there will be enough food.
What Makes It Special: The "Warm Authority" Approach
One of the most valuable lessons we've learned is what we call "warm authority"—being graciously firm about the small details that make a big difference. Yes, we ask everyone to wear a nametag when they arrive. Yes, we gather everyone together for brief introductions. These might feel a bit formal at first, but they transform a room full of acquaintances into a connected group. I even use a harmonica to get folks' attention if we're ready to eat or want to bring folks together for something.
The nametags alone have been game-changing. Watching new friendships spark because people can actually remember each other's names has been incredible. It's such a simple thing, but it removes that awkward barrier that keeps conversations shallow.
Small Touches That Make a Big Impact
Gathering Questions: At some point during the evening, we pause to have everyone share something—maybe it's their favorite comfort food, a highlight from their week, their go-to breakfast, or something seasonal. These aren't deep, personal revelations, just simple prompts that help people see each other as more than neighbors.
Seasonal Elements: We try to weave in little seasonal touches. Carving pumpkins in October, writing valentines for seniors in February, or enjoying sparklers in July. These activities give the evening a special flavor and create shared memories.
Flexibility with Consistency: While most aspects stay the same month to month, we're not rigid. Sometimes we move the date for holidays or life events. And yes, we've occasionally had to cancel entirely when life got overwhelming—if you've ever been an elementary school parent during May, you know exactly what I mean. The consistency is in the invitation and the welcome, not the calendar. Don't let the fear that you might need to reschedule or cancel sometimes prevent you from making the plan in the first place. Your community will understand, and it's better to have a rhythm that occasionally gets interrupted than no rhythm at all.
What We've Learned Along the Way
Start Simple: Our first supper was just about getting people in the same room. The community-building elements evolved naturally as we saw what worked.
Address the Practical Stuff Upfront: We learned to be explicit about the details people wonder about but don't want to ask. Are kids welcome? (Yes!) What if I can't bring anything? (Come anyway!) Is it the same every month? (Mostly, with fun variations.)
Create Easy Entry Points: New people can feel intimidated joining an established group. Nametags, structured introductions, and having the hosts actively welcome and include newcomers make all the difference.
Quality Over Quantity: Some months we have 25 people, others we have 8. Both feel wonderful because the focus is on genuine connection, not impressive numbers.
Books That Shaped Our Thinking
Two books particularly influenced how we think about hosting:
"The Art of Gathering" by Priya Parker taught us that every gathering should have a purpose beyond just "getting together." Our purpose is building genuine community connections, and that clarity helps guide every decision we make about structure and activities. (Bookshop | Amazon)
"The 2-Hour Cocktail Party" by Nick Gray reinforced the power of those "warm authority" moments we mentioned. Gray's approach to structured mingling and the importance of a strong opening and closing gave us confidence to guide our guests rather than just hoping connection would happen organically. This is where I got the harmonica idea! (Bookshop | Amazon)
It Doesn't Have to Be Dinner (Or Even About Food)
While our Sunday Suppers center around a shared meal, the same principles work for all kinds of regular gatherings. The key is consistent rhythm and low barriers to entry, not the specific format.
Park Crawl Summer Series: A few years ago, we tried a different approach with casual Sunday morning meetups at different parks. The invitation was beautifully simple: "This is the kind of thing where you can decide the morning of if you'd like to join. Join us every week, just once, or not at all - no pressure!" We rotated through different parks from 9am to 10:30am, and people could drop in whenever worked for them. Kids could play, adults could chat, and the outdoor setting removed any pressure about hosting or cleaning.
Weekly Wine Wednesdays: Our friends Jill and Addisu mastered this with their "Weekly" Wine Wednesday series (the quotes around "weekly" being intentional and honest—life happens!). They met regularly at a local wine bar, creating a consistent touchpoint where people could catch up on "new jobs, new babies, new houses" in a relaxed setting. The genius was in their realistic approach: "we may not be able to do them weekly anymore... but we're going to try to be more regular than once every 5 months."
Both examples show how the same community-building principles apply whether you're hosting at home, meeting at parks, or gathering at local businesses. The magic ingredient isn't the venue or the food—it's the regular invitation to connect.
Starting Your Own Version
If you're thinking about creating something similar, here's our advice:
Pick a Regular Rhythm: Monthly works for us, but find what's sustainable for you. Quarterly might be better to start.
Plan the Main Dish: Take the pressure off your guests by providing something substantial. It doesn't have to be fancy—we've served pizza and called it good.
Use Your Space Creatively: We eat "at different parts of the house, inside and outside." Not everyone needs to fit around one table. Kitchen counters, coffee tables, and porch steps all work.
Be Explicit About Expectations: People want to contribute appropriately. Tell them exactly what to expect and what you need from them.
Send Calendar Invites: This helps folks remember and they can accept or decline a given gathering based on their energy and schedule that time.
Why It Matters
In a world where we're all busy and often isolated, creating regular opportunities for genuine connection has become almost radical. Our Sunday Suppers aren't solving world problems, but they're doing something important: they're helping us remember that we're not meant to do life alone.
Every month, watching someone new laugh at our table or seeing two neighbors discover they have kids the same age reminds us why we started this. Community doesn't just happen—someone has to set the table and ring the dinner bell.
Maybe it's time you set your own table too.
About The Author
Jessica Eastman Stewart is a consultant, workshop facilitator, and podcast guest expert. She teaches busy professionals how to get more organized at home and at work so they can stop feeling worn out and start living a Joyfully Managed Life! Thousands of readers drop everything when her weekly newsletter, The Friday Five, arrives in their inbox. Every Friday, you’ll get FIVE amazing tips to help life feel INSTANTLY more joyful and easy!
